Building the dream corners for a potential Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerberg fight

If an MMA bout between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg ever happens in the UFC ... who would coach them?
7th Viva Technology Conference In Paris - Day 3
7th Viva Technology Conference In Paris - Day 3 / Chesnot/GettyImages

Most of the buzz currently surrounding the UFC and MMA does not involve active fighters. Surprisingly, the protagonists are tech billionaires Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk.

It comes as no surprise that this idea sprouted from an interaction in the digital space. The seed was a tweet from Musk that read: "I’m sure Earth can’t wait to be exclusively under Zuck’s thumb with no other options.” This tweet spawned a user to warn Musk about his words and referenced Zuckerberg's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu credentials. "I'm up for a cage match if he is," the Twitter owner responded.

The Facebook founder did not sit quietly through this. He took to his own virtual territory and responded via Instagram story. Zuckerberg posted a screenshot of Musk's tweet captioned with Khabib Nurmagomedov's iconic one-liner "Send me location," resulting in amplified speculations.

The back-and-forth continued, and UFC president Dana White chimed in. White has stated his serious consideration for the UFC to host the Battle of the Billionaires. The big boss typically condones gimmick fights. However, he went as far as sporting a Zuckerberg vs. Musk t-shirt on an Instagram post by the UFC.

Realistically, this fight materializing is farfetched but not mythical. However, if anyone can make this happen, it would be White. While both men have their combat sports credentials, they can not step into the Octagon without help. So hypothetically speaking, if it takes place in the cage and not the metaverse, here are the dream corners for this tech-themed money fight.

The dream corners for Musk vs. Zuckerberg

Before we start, it is important to clarify that most of the selections came from a pool of MMA personalities who spoke out about this potential matchup. Some picked their horse in the race, while others gave their two cents to join the conversation. We selected one of the coaches from outside the pool to add some narrative and to fill in a spot, as each side has a person designated to help in one of three departments; wrestling, BJJ, and striking.

Let's meet our coaches.

On Musk's corner, we have Goerges St-Pierre, Jake Shields, and Dominic Cruz. All three have offered their coaching services to Musk, and imagine seeing those three giving Musk instructions while Bruce Buffer belts out introductions. A man who a lot would argue is the greatest MMA fighter of all time, an MMA pioneer, and one of the greatest bantamweights to compete in the sport. A lot of fight IQ, experience, and familiarity in this corner.

On the other hand, we have team Zuckerberg, Jon Jones, Charles Oliveira, and Duane Ludwig. Another GOAT candidate, a fighter also known for being one of the best in his weight class and the striking coach responsible for where Cruz's belt ended up down the lineage after sharing a foe in Team Alpha Male.

Now the fight has plenty of factors checked. Aside from Oliveira's language barrier, this should be fun from a coaching standpoint. All that is left to do is to sign a contract and maybe take Dan Henderson's offer to be the referee.

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